Not too long
ago the acronym ADHD was a dirty word.
The fact that
someone in your family had it was a cause for secrecy. And with good
reason; if parents knew your child had this neurobehavioral disorder
they'd steer their children away from your's or give you a knowing
look like, “This is why your child acts the way they do.” ADHD
kids were thought of as stupid, and your parenting skills were
certainly questioned.
I'm by no means
an expert on this subject. What I can share is first-hand experience
on living with my two peas, both whom have ADHD - it tends to run on
my husband's side. I kept my son's condition a secret for the longest
time because I didn't want him labeled; labeled as my husband was –
he was tossed into a classroom with seriously mentally handicapped
children and forgotten about until a substitute teacher realized how
incredibly intelligent he was. I didn't want people to blame my son
for everything because it was certainly easier to blame the kid with
ADHD - they're not always in complete control of their emotions and
actions. One parent I knew blamed my son for any argument between our
kids even if hers were at fault: “It had to be your son; he's the
one with the mental condition, and ADHD kids blurt out stuff without
thinking how it's going to affect others.” Sometimes that is true,
but it's true of most children, too.
The majority of
people I know who have ADHD have a very high IQ, but channeling that
intelligence into mainstream, conventional learning practices is a
challenge in itself. All that most teachers see is a child that
inhibits the learning of others, is fidgety, is inattentive, is
unable to follow directions or the curriculum, and seemingly isn't
interested in learning. If you're lucky you might get a teacher that
sees the potential in your child, but even if they do they're unable
to do much due to a class full of other students. So what can you do
to bring out that creativity and know-how to show that your child is
indeed above-average?
There's no
simple answer.
Homeschooling
is an option. It allows you and your child to discover what interests
him or her. It allows for a more hands-on learning style; to touch,
to create, to visualize rather than slapping worksheet after
worksheet in front of them, which drives most kids insane let alone a
child that finds focusing a true battle. But homeschooling isn't for
everyone nor can some parents afford the time.
Another option
is finding a private school which offers different approaches in
learning, the kind where the teachers engage the students with lots
of hands-on experiments; field trips; lots of sports to tire them
out; a teaching style that makes kids think out of the box and
applaud them for trying even though it may be incorrect. Again, not
everyone can afford the cost of private school tuition even with
financial aid.
As a parent you
have to be your child's biggest advocate. You have to stay on top of
what they're learning or not. You have to meet with teachers, you
have to talk with the guidance counselor and you have to demand from
the principal that your child gets the learning they deserve. And
after all of that you have to have hope that in the long run your
child will find their way.
A lot of times
my house is crazy with energy, but that whirlwind are my peas doing
what they do best: Creating, working, building, blogging, mapping out
business projects, planning fundraisers … and that's just my 12yr
old!
Patricia.
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